The Vintage Mama

Vintage Ideas for Modern Go-Getters

My Divorcing Story

I’m divorcing.

I’m now a single mama with 4 rascals. What the heck happened? Read on and find out…

We were together for 19 years. Married for 12. And pretty chaotic nearly the whole time.

I’ll admit that I was very much the drama queen when we dated, but tell me what love struck teenager isn’t? Once those vows were said and we got pregnant 3 months after, it changed me. Apparently it did not change him.

On our 5 yr wedding anniversary I found out. I remember going to work excited…telling everyone that it was my anniversary. We weren’t going to any fancy restaurant because money was tight (or so I thought) but it didn’t matter because I was in love and we were going out.

After dinner we went home to watch a movie and snuggle. He fell asleep, as he usually does when we would watch a movie.

And I heard his phone vibrate.

He got a text.

I fought my own curiosity for nearly an hour.

It couldn’t be anything bad, right? Just me being unreasonably paranoid.

I looked. It was definitely a woman. And it was definitely serious.

With my whole body shaking, I wrote down the number before confronting him.

There was no denial. And she was not the first.

Nor the last.

So after 12 years, four children, countless lies, tears and unbelievably painful heartbreak, I told him to leave.

Yes I absolutely regretted it for the first 2 weeks. I got panicky. I had no idea what was happening.

Am I really alone now? Was it really that easy for him to forget me and his family? What do I even do next?

But come to think of it, I knew it was coming.

Before I got pregnant with baby #4, I had a moment of clarity.

I was putting on my makeup and realized it had been months since he had kissed me. I would kiss him, but for months he didn’t try to kiss me.

We aren’t going to make it.

But instead of giving up (even though he had clearly given up) I decided that I was going to give it my all. If my marriage was going to end, I was not going to have any regrets.

No what if’s.

I was going out knowing I did everything I could.

And so I did and now I am completely at peace with my decision. It doesn’t make the divorcing process any easier, but there is a definite sense of peace not having any regrets about what I coulda/shoulda done.

Although this whole process of divorcing is not an easy one, ours has been on the less ugly side for the most part.

For the most part.

So there you have it. My story in a nut shell.

So what’s next?

Well I got big plans for my rascals, so off to finish my degree I go. Psychology and business are so tickling my fancy!

Then off to Business School for MBA.

Work? Heading back to the spa (you feel sorry for me right? ;))

And homeschooling? Well this will be our last year. It was a great, fun ride and I’m hoping to make this last year our best. I’m content that my rascals will thrive no matter where they are.

More adventures? Heck yeah! Me and the rascals are going places, doing things and always looking to make some fantastic memories!

So stick around, won’t you? Sign up for free updates and stalk me a little on facebook, twitter, pinterest and instagram!


• Meet the Author ➞ Lydia Hernandez

Writer & digital influencer, Lydia initially started "mommy blogging" in 2008. Since then, has grown into a retro-inspired blog helping women to become the best versions of themselves. She's also is a single mother to 4 rascals, a copywriter and editor, a psych major, and is currently working on two fictional novels.

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  • I’m sure this was incredibly hard for you to write but good for you – it’s all out there and you can move on. I wish I had the strength to write one years ago with my ex! Let this post be the start of a beautiful future. You got this xoxo
    Xenia recently posted…I Unofficially Attended Apple CampMy Profile

  • sending you all the positive vibes your way. you’ll make it work. XOX
    pattie recently posted…5 things you need to know about grapefruitMy Profile

  • Good for you for choosing what was best for you and your kids. I did the same exact thing. It was tough but possible. My divorce process was fast (only took 2 months) and easy. My first divorce gave me a glimpse of what hell would be like. haha… and it took 2 1/2 years or LOTS of heartache, pain and money. Just continue to love your children and be there for them. Buena Suerte on single parenting. It’ll make you stronger than you ever imagined you could be. You got this!!!!
    Edna Guerrero recently posted…Finding success as a single parentMy Profile