I’m now a single mama with 4 rascals. What the heck happened? Read on and find out…
We were together for 19 years. Married for 12. And pretty chaotic nearly the whole time.
I’ll admit that I was very much the drama queen when we dated, but tell me what love struck teenager isn’t? Once those vows were said and we got pregnant 3 months after, it changed me. Apparently it did not change him.
On our 5 yr wedding anniversary I found out. I remember going to work excited…telling everyone that it was my anniversary. We weren’t going to any fancy restaurant because money was tight (or so I thought) but it didn’t matter because I was in love and we were going out.
After dinner we went home to watch a movie and snuggle. He fell asleep, as he usually does when we would watch a movie.
And I heard his phone vibrate.
He got a text.
I fought my own curiosity for nearly an hour.
It couldn’t be anything bad, right? Just me being unreasonably paranoid.
I looked. It was definitely a woman. And it was definitely serious.
With my whole body shaking, I wrote down the number before confronting him.
There was no denial. And she was not the first.
Nor the last.
So after 12 years, four children, countless lies, tears and unbelievably painful heartbreak, I told him to leave.
Yes I absolutely regretted it for the first 2 weeks. I got panicky. I had no idea what was happening.
Am I really alone now? Was it really that easy for him to forget me and his family? What do I even do next?
But come to think of it, I knew it was coming.
Before I got pregnant with baby #4, I had a moment of clarity.
I was putting on my makeup and realized it had been months since he had kissed me. I would kiss him, but for months he didn’t try to kiss me.
We aren’t going to make it.
But instead of giving up (even though he had clearly given up) I decided that I was going to give it my all. If my marriage was going to end, I was not going to have any regrets.
No what if’s.
I was going out knowing I did everything I could.
And so I did and now I am completely at peace with my decision. It doesn’t make the divorcing process any easier, but there is a definite sense of peace not having any regrets about what I coulda/shoulda done.
Although this whole process of divorcing is not an easy one, ours has been on the less ugly side for the most part.
For the most part.
So there you have it. My story in a nut shell.
So what’s next?
Well I got big plans for my rascals, so off to finish my degree I go. Psychology and business are so tickling my fancy!
Then off to Business School for MBA.
Work? Heading back to the spa (you feel sorry for me right? ;))
And homeschooling? Well this will be our last year. It was a great, fun ride and I’m hoping to make this last year our best. I’m content that my rascals will thrive no matter where they are.
More adventures? Heck yeah! Me and the rascals are going places, doing things and always looking to make some fantastic memories!
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