“Ghosting” is a new term for an old action–breaking off all communication without warning by blocking phone calls and texts, unfriending/unfollowing on social media, and good ol’ fashioned standing someone up on a date.
My first experience with “ghosting” was soon after getting back into the dating scene after separating. Super cute bar-back (should’ve known, I know..) was calling and texting me nonstop for a good week after we met.
A day before our date, he disappears.
I’m embarrassed to admit that it took me a while to realize I was ghosted. I sent at least 5 texts and called 4 times…no response.
What a brat.
I’ve been ghosted.
In the past 2 years, I’ve had at least 3 potential romance interests and 1 friend do this to me. While it burned me, I’ve learned that there are some situations that ghosting is appropriate.
3 legitimate reasons I’ve ghosted people out of my life:
We’re not going on another date and I don’t want to be your friend.
Mr. J and I dated a few times. We were connected on Facebook, so I was well aware that he was dating other women (no biggie, I was seeing other people as well), but what I didn’t know was that he had a girlfriend.
How did I find this out?
Interesting thing: he posted pictures on Facebook with the caption “at the hospital with my girlfriend about to have my baby”.
Because a few months had passed since our last date and he was not the kind of friend I would want, I decided that ghosting was perfectly acceptable in this situation.
You started the ghosting; I’m just completing the process.
I had a friend that was a no-show on our date. We had known each other for about 2 years, and though we dated early on, Mr. C and I drifted into friend-zone.
Then Halloween rolled around. He asked me to a costume party. We were both excited, even planned our costumes to be all cute and matchy.
It was clear that we were going as a couple and not as friends. Come date night, he was nowhere to be found.
Maybe he lost his phone?
Maybe he was in a car accident? (truly did happen on our first date).
Absolutely no response.
Three days later and still no response, I was delighted to see on my Facebook feed Mr. C enjoying a beer and buffalo wings at a restaurant.
I sent him one more text. Still no reply.
Yep, I ghosted him.
Block, block, block.
It wasn’t easy. I talked it over with friends before I came to the decision that if he didn’t value our friendship that I should disconnect from him.
A few months after blocking him, he called me (forgot to block his number) very upset over me ghosting him on social media. Apparently, he had just noticed that I did it…2 months later. Said that it was rude and hurtful.
He still never gave me an answer for his actions, which reassured me that I made the right decision to let him go.
Our acquaintance relationship is unpleasant.
The most recent ghosting was also the most awkward. I was connected to several ladies through social media because we were all part of a mom support group. While I did have friends in this group, there were a few that just never developed into a friendship.
In fact, there was a bit of tension with some of them. I had acquired a bit of a “Jezebel” title amongst a few of the moms.
My crime? Smiling so sweetly on Instagram that people left comments complimenting my smile.
I’m totally not kidding. There were concerned emails exchanged over the attention I was getting on social media…over my smile.
I did my best to let it roll off my back, but I just could not let go of the feeling of being scrutinized. As soon as the school year was over and it was no longer necessary to be connected, I ghosted them.
What do you think? Was I wrong to ghost them? Has this ever happened to you or have you ghosted someone else?
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